Singing Off Key

There is a mountain of scientific evidence showing us that people do moderately well at evaluating others, but are often terrible at evaluating themselves.  As a result, many of us are not self-aware in regard to our relationships. Said another way, we don’t have a clear picture of how we’re perceived by others. Today we’ll look at Peter and how he grew in self-awareness. We’ll talk about why so many are not self-aware and discuss some steps we can take toward fixing the situation.

Discussion Questions

Think of someone you know who is not self-aware regarding how they’re perceived by others.  Describe the situation. Why do you think they’re not self-aware in this area?

Think of a time someone told you something that helped you become more self-aware. What was the issue? How did the other person tell you? Was it painful to hear this? Why or why not? Could the other person have been more effective in how they told you?

Besides tying shoes or driving a manual transmission car, can you think of other simple illustrations of the Conscious Competence Learning Model (unconscious of incompetence -> conscious of incompetence -> conscious competence -> unconscious competence)? Can you think of more significant examples (professional skills, long term hobbies, etc.) where you’ve become “unconsciously competent.” How do you know you’re unconsciously competent?  How about in matters related to being a good person (compassion, patience, mercy, giving, hospitality) or in regard to relationships? Do you know anyone who’s unconsciously competent in these areas? What do they do, or how do they act, that leads you to feel this way?

Read about Jesus’ warning (John 13:36-38), Peter’s bravado (Jn 18:10-11) and his eventual denial of Christ (John 18:12-18, 25-27).  Imagine what might have been going through Peter’s mind in each of these three scenes.  Why did Jesus allow each of these things to happen? Jesus also told Peter that He had prayed for him (Luke 22:31-34). What did Christ pray? Why?

Are there things in your life that you do, say or think that betray what you might really “believe?” Can you think of a time in the last 6 months where you were angry, worried, frightened or frustrated? Why did you have this emotion? Ask, and re-ask, the “why” question to see if you can go back to the foundational thinking that led to the emotion.   Then read 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 & Ephesians 3:20-21 – what’s the point?

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