Weight of Grief, Strength of Heart

by Jul 22, 2022Easy and Light

Weight of Grief, Strength of Heart

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

Psalm 73:26 (NIV)

“Thank you for your patience concerning your application. All candidates interviewed were stronger than we had dared to hope. Our deliberations were, at times, downright torturous. However, last week, we identified our top-ranked candidate…”

I stopped reading. My dream job, the interview process of which had consumed me for the better part of a month, had gone to someone else. The job not only offered financial appeal, but it was also a real job. A grown-up job. It had “Director” in the title. With my 40th birthday right around the corner, this job was the perfect vehicle to deliver me into middle age. Instead, I watched as the car drove off with someone else in the driver’s seat.

Of course I had prepared myself that I may not get it. But it turns out that you can expect one thing while hoping for another. More hope than I realized had been sneaking to the surface, judging by the weight of the grief I was currently feeling.

I cried. I took a nap. I prayed. And at the end of the day, I took emotional inventory. Much like the weight of my grief, the response surprised me. I felt loved.

Father God, thank you for your unfailing comfort and love in our dark times. You are our strength, protecting our hearts when they feel broken and delivering us, warm from Your embrace, into Your plan to prosper us.

My husband had rubbed my back while I wept and assured me that I had given my all. My neighbor, who had written me a reference letter, stopped by unannounced with dinner because God had placed me on her heart that morning. My children were gentle and loving, reminding me that the best job would always be mother. I had been wrapped in a blanket of love from the moment I got the news. If grief was going to temporarily crush me, at least I was protected from the impact.

When I feel God in joy, it’s like being a parent on Christmas morning. He is right there in the room with me, watching me open my gift with delight, sharing in the joy that He has delivered.

But when I feel God in grief, He is holding me in His arms. There is no better feeling than being held by the One who loves you most. And when I’m ready, He’ll deliver me from my grief, ready to face the next part of His plan still warm from His embrace. I can’t think of another way I would rather arrive.

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