When We Can’t See Home
When We Can’t See Home
“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.”
John 1:5 (ESV)
I turn slowly and peek around the headrest. My husband drives on as the horizon glows marigold and magenta. Darkness settles, and I sense the uneasiness of the almost 3-year-old behind me.
“It dark, Mom. It dark,” his little voice calls, looking for reassurance, for comfort, for something to ward off the panic seeping in as the daylight seeps out. His eyes widen and dart from the blackening window to my dim face. His body stiffens as the tears form, and he inhales – ready to sound the alarm, the wail of fear we have heard since the days grew short towards the winter solstice and the clocks turned back in November. Just in time, I twist awkwardly and outstretch my arm so that he can reach my hand.
Typically, our adventurous boy enjoys car rides. That changes rapidly, however, when the sky grows dark. One of the first times we experienced this, his words pierced my heart. Frantic, he screamed, “I want to go home! I want to go home!” When we assured him that we were going home, he cried repeatedly, “I can’t see it! Where is home?”
Dear Jesus, You are Light in the darkness. Light our path and lead us home even when we fail to see. Help us cling faithfully to You.
Where is home? But I can’t see it…
How many times have I come before God – panicked in spirit, frantic with fear, certain that the darkness would overwhelm me? How often have I cried out, afraid I was hopelessly lost, because I could not see the way to go? Darkness can take many forms, can’t it? In the darkness of sorrow, trials, or grief, of the unexpected or sudden losses, of failure that seems too big to redeem or suffering too great to endure, fear threatens to overtake us. The way forward grows uncertain; our surroundings, foreboding; and we wonder how we will ever make it home.
The rest of the way home, my son sits bravely in the dark, fighting back tears, fighting back fear, clutching my hand with both of his.
In the darkness of winter and night – and the winters and dark nights of the soul – God remains steadfast, offering His hand, assuring our troubled hearts: I am with you. My Word will light your path because I have given you Myself, the Word made flesh, the Light of the world, the Way home. Trust in Me.
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